Week 47: Why Black Friday and Saturday didn't seem black to me.

This weekend was what is called “Black Friday”.  The day after American Thanksgiving is usually a madhouse at the stores.  People have to get the Black Friday bargains!  There are usually fights and stampedes and all kinds of chaos!  I wanted to see all of this for this year.  I can remember wanting to go to the mall last year, but there was nowhere to park.  Every single parking space was taken the Saturday after Black Friday last year!  I couldn’t even park my car!

This year was different.  I went to the mall today and there were plenty of parking spaces.  I walked into the mall to look around and there were people all over the place, but most of them didn’t seem to be buying anything.  Most of them were just standing around and staring at cell phones.

I didn’t find much to interest me at the mall.  The place also had a really strong smell of incense, soap, and perfume.  Maybe there were other scents, but it seemed to me like those were the prevailing scents.  It would have been nice to smell cotton candy, or maybe cinnamon, or something a bit more Christmasy, but no, just the strong soap and perfume smell.  Almost enough to make you sick.

And so I moved on.  I figured maybe people were in the huge department stores like Target.  So I drove to a nearby Target.  Plenty of parking spaces and again lots of people inside, but the cashiers didn’t seem busy at all.  I picked up some almond M&Ms and used the self-checkout lane without waiting in any kind of line.  Lots of people in the store, but again no one buying anything.  Just a lot of people staring at cell phones.

Maybe the people were all at the grocery stores getting food?  Nope!  I drove to two different stores to get my groceries and didn’t have to wait in a line to buy anything.

I think online shopping is more popular than ever this year.  People will go out and look in the stores, but don’t seem to be buying.  I’d rather stay home and hang out than go out and stare at a cell phone in a mall!

Moving on, tomorrow is my birthday.  I’ll be turning 51 years old.  I’m fat, old, and cranky now.  You can say “No, 51 isn’t old, it’s middle age”, but I think you’d be wrong.  I really doubt I’ll live to 102 which means I’m past “middle age”.  I’m not totally unhappy, though.  I’ll have to work for my birthday night, but that won’t be so bad.  I think it will be better than if I was unemployed for my birthday.  I’ll hopefully be thrilled when I’m retired and don’t have to go to work for my birthday, but by the time I have enough to retire on, I may be too old to do anything, or go anywhere!  I’m sure I’ll figure something out.

So for week 47 I wonder why this Black Friday didn’t seem so black.  Is everyone really buying all their presents online?  As Alice would say, “Curiouser and curiouser”.  Down the rabbit hole we go!  Time to celebrate my birthday a day early this year and watch some movies and play a few video games.  Until next week when I’m officially 51, keep asking why.

Week 44: Why I was back at the Department of Motor Vehicles

Yes, this week I had to go back to the lovely DMV.  I hate that place and I’m sure everyone else hates it, too!  There’s always some problem.  A machine doesn’t work, or things are suddenly costing more than they should.  It’s always some kind of struggle.  If I wanted to keep legally driving though, I had to go back.  My driver’s license expires on my birthday of this year, November 26, 2017.  I need to drive to work, and work to pay bills, so I need a new license. 

I was worried about the eye test.  I’m getting older now and my eyes aren’t the best.  But I went to the eye doctor and have new glasses.  There should be no problem with the eye test.  I checked online and found things that looked like this:

That should be no problem.  I can see well enough to read letters and things. The legal requirement is supposed to be something like 20/40 vision in one eye.  At least that’s what I think it is.  Who really knows, though? 

I wanted to get there nice and early and so maybe I wouldn’t have to wait hours for my turn.  So I got there about ten minutes before it opened at 7:50am.  There was a huge line out front.  I can wait in a line, I had planned on that anyway.  Now there’s also the problem of “real ID”.  Supposedly you won’t be able to fly anywhere by the year 2020, or 2021 if you don’t have a “real ID”.  Your driver’s license can be a real ID as long as you have the proper documents.  And so I collected all the things I should need.

I get up to the first desk pretty quickly to tell the lady what I’m there for.  Things moved pretty fast once the place opened.  I tell her I need to renew my driver’s…”FILL THIS OUT!  WHAT’S YOUR CELL PHONE NUMBER? WAIT TO BE CALLED!

What the hell?  My cell phone number?  I ask the lady if she’s going to give me a number so I know when I’m being called.  She grunts that the last four digits of my cell phone number are what they’ll call.  Well damn, now how am I going to know how many people are in front of me?  I sit down in front of a board showing who’s next and try to fill out my form.  Before I even get halfway finished with the form, my cell phone number comes up on the board.  I hustle over to the window listed and find this old, troll lady scowling at me. 

I tell her I’m not finished with my form yet and she starts growling instructions for me to finish it!  I tell her I need the “real ID” and I have my documents and she demands my birth certificate.  I pass over the certified copy and she growls back, “WE DON’T ACCEPT COPIES!  WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?”  I tell her I got it from my mother.  That’s been good for almost 51 years, but the troll isn’t having any of that.  She denies me a “real ID”.  I’m in no mood to fight, so I just ask for my driver’s license to be renewed.

I ask what documents I need for the renewal and the troll just grunts at me and types on her computer.  She then demands I pull this electronic thing over and look into it and read the first box.  I pull the thing over and look inside.  I can see the box, but everything inside it is a mushy blur!  What the hell?  I can’t see anything!  I can barely make out some speed limit signs on the bottom, but I can’t make out any letters!  My vision is bad, but not so bad I would fail an eye test!

Now I’m starting to panic.  If I fail the eye test, I don’t get a driver’s license.  I need my license!  First, no “real ID”, now the troll may fail my eye test!  For some reason I shifted my head a bit and then things came a bit into focus.  They’re not normal letters though, it’s a bunch of numbers.  It’s like some magical, mystical, 3-D puzzle that you have to unravel and look at from the correct angle, or you don’t get your license.  FINALLY though, I can at least make out the numbers.  It really didn’t seem like a fair eye test to me.  Now the troll does a bit more typing and then demands payment.  I ask if my debit card is ok and the troll growls back “WE RUN EVERYTHING AS A CREDIT CARD!”  A simple “yes” would have been nice.

I had brought my DD-214 along (A copy really, that’s my military discharge form) so that they can print “Veteran” on my license.  For a few minutes I thought the troll was going to tell me that wasn’t enough proof of my being a veteran!  She tells me I can’t have my documents back until after my photo is taken, and then gives me back my documents anyway.  I’m told to go “over there” for my photo.  I wander “over there” in the direction the troll had pointed.

I found a line with people waiting for their photos to be taken and was waiting my turn.  There was only two people in front of me, but the line wasn’t moving at all.  I looked around the place at the other trolls, or employees, or whatever they are working there.  No one looked the slightest bit happy.  They were all scowling and seemed to hate people.  How lovely for them to work with people all day. 

Finally my turn does come and the guy takes my photo and uses some machine to punch the word “VOID” into my current license.  I’m not sure I like that.  Now I have a slip of paper until they get around to mailing me my new license in “seven to ten working days”.

While I had been doing all this, my cell phone was going off left and right.  Someone was texting me.  I’m thinking, “Leave me alone, I’m trying to get this done!”  I didn’t bother to look until later.  When I finally checked my messages, they were all from the DMV. 

The first message said there were four people ahead of me.  Then a message that said I should only be waiting one more minute.  Then a text to go to window 6.  And finally a text telling me they had given my spot in line to someone else.  If I was being helped at window six, how did they give my spot away?  The DMV doesn’t even know what they’re doing!

On the good side, that’s been taken care of.  The new driver’s license should be good until 2025.  They can stick the “real ID” thing where the sun doesn’t shine.  I’m not going back for one of those. 

In other news for me this week, I used a Cupcake ATM.

This was actually pretty neat!  I chose what flavor I wanted, used my debit card to pay $4.50, and the ATM gave me the cupcake!  I haven’t tried it yet, but it looks delicious!  I’ll try and upload the video of me using the ATM to my Facebook page if anyone is curious.

So until next week, keep asking why there aren’t more cupcake ATMs!  And keep asking why about everything.

Week 32: Why I went to Walmart

Usually on my days off I’ll make a trip to a grocery store called Winco.  Winco is a very nice place and usually has the groceries I need for the week.  I’m happy to go there and they usually have pretty good prices.  This week, I was relaxing, and tired, and figured I would instead go to Walmart and see what I could find.  Walmart usually has more expensive groceries, but they also occasionally get some odd things and I was in the mood for odd things.

For those of you reading this who don’t know what Walmart is, here’s a web site to show you a few photos from Walmarts around the US:

People of Walmart

Yes, it’s a bit low class, but there’s a fairly nice one a bit up the road from me.  I figured I could stop there and look around and then maybe go to Winco for the real groceries.  After getting to Walmart though, I felt a bit lazy and figured maybe I could just spend the few extra dollars and get all my groceries there for one stop.

First off, Walmart is full of screaming children.  This seems to be at all hours of the night too, because the place is open 24 hours a day.  I’ve been in there at 3am hearing kids screaming at the top of their lungs.  I don’t know what it is with people bringing screaming children out to shop!  There are usually one or two screaming kids at Winco, but not to the extent of Walmart!

Anyway, I begin looking around and stop at the egg section.  Eggs are a bit expensive here.  The brown eggs are REALLY expensive!  What the hell is so special about a brown chicken egg anyway?  I’ve never understood that?  Do they come from chocolate chickens or something?

I do need some eggs, but I don’t need eggs bad enough to pay for the brown ones.  Into the cart (or trolley, or basket, or whatever you want to call it) they go.  Next I end up in the frozen food section.  I come across this:

Deep Fried Chocolate Twinkies…that are also frozen.  Who the hell is buying this stuff?  Yes, that’s something somewhat new and original, but damn!  I won’t be paying for those.  As a matter of fact, I’m not certain I’d accept one if you tried to give it to me for free!  I don’t find regular Twinkies to be especially good, let alone chocolate, fried, and frozen ones!

There has to be better frozen stuff to try!  I go a bit further and find something else.  I was so stunned by the stuff I was looking at, I apparently forgot to take a photo!  It was Doritos Loaded Jalapeno & Cheese.  Not chips, but some kind of Doritos thing loaded with liquid cheese.  This I need to try.  It's a bit expensive, but what the hell!  There were actually a few flavors, but the Jalapeño and cheese looked good to me.  Into the cart they went!

Now as I’m walking around, I come across some new M&Ms.  I absolutely LOVE M&Ms!  These are new flavors, though.  The first one is called Pecan Pie.  I don’t think I’ve ever tried pecan pie before, so I’m not sure if I would like an M&M flavor that tastes like that.  I once bought some Vanilla Cupcake M&Ms and they tasted exactly like vanilla cupcakes, so I have to assume the pecan pie M&Ms taste exactly like pecan pie.  I’ll have to take a pass.  There’s also a White candy corn flavor, but if I wanted to eat candy corn, I would buy candy corn.  I can’t figure out why you would want M&Ms that taste like that.

Next I happened upon the chip aisle.  Now Lays is always trying out new chip flavors.  Some look good, and some look awful to me.  The good ones I’ll sometimes pay for and give them a shot.  Why not, it’s only a couple of dollars, right?  And so here we go, Fried Green Tomato wavy chips?  Or Bacon wrapped jalapeno popper chips.  Well, I’ve already got the Doritos molten cheese things in my cart, might as well try to Bacon wrapped chips.  Now to be clear, the chips aren’t actually wrapped in bacon, that’s just the flavor (supposedly).  It really would be neat to have bacon wrapped Lays chips, though!

Enough of Walmart!  Finally after getting a few other things I head for the check out counter.  They have one girl working and she’s obviously the slowest person they could hire.  I could have went to the self check-out registers, but they never have enough room to put all my stuff before I pay!  So I wait and wait and think about how my milk and ice cream are getting warm.  (Yes, I also bought some double chocolate Klondike bars.  YUMMY!)

On the drive home, I can hear this weird squeaking.  I start wondering if there’s a problem with my car.  Finally I realize it’s the damned egg carton that’s made of Styrofoam squeaking!  The eggs at Winco come in a cardboard kind of package.  I’m never buying eggs from Walmart again now!  That noise was driving me crazy for the whole drive home!  GAH!

So why did I go to Walmart this week?  I don’t know.  Actually, I do know.  It was to buy some more black socks.  I should have then went to Winco.  I’ll stay away from Walmart for a while now.  Until I make the mistake and go back anyway, keep asking why.

Week 30: Why do toys suck now?

I had no immediate emergencies this week.  My PC is working fine, my car is running great, and my air conditioning is keeping me cool.  (I’ll pay a huge amount to the electric company for the AC, but I’m not worried about that at the moment.)  So what to do this week for my days off?

Well, I thought I would drive over to the local Toys R Us store and see what kind of toys are out there for kids today.  I have fond memories of toys from when I was a young boy.  It seems like today kids just play with a lot of electronic stuff.  It’s not unusual to see a kid running around with a cell phone.  There are a lot of really neat video games and electronic things out there now, but part of me really misses the good, old fashioned Wiffle ball and bat kind of toys.

With that in mind, I went to Toys R Us looking for what’s good.  Sadly, I came away disappointed.  First, I didn’t find a Wiffle ball and bat.  I did find this:

A Swerve Ball.  So what am I supposed to do with this?  Just throw it back and forth with a neighbor kid?  I need a Wiffle Bat to go along with this!  What I want is a Wiffle Bat and ball!  Amazon has this stuff!  Check out this link:

Wiffle Bat and Balls

YEAH!  Now that’s what I’m talking about!  Unfortunately, I don’t think too many kids today are playing with those now.  That makes me sad. (And probably saves a few windows.  Yes, I’ve broken at least one window with a Wiffle Ball.)

I moved on in the store and found some toy condiments.  Not really my thing.  I’m sure there are kids who might like pretend condiments, but I’d rather have real condiments and real food. 

Next I came across what I can only assume was the dart gun/Nerf section.  There was some Nerf stuff and a few dart guns.  They didn’t look the same as they did when I was a kid.  And how about this:

Those little, yellow balls say they’re “High Impact Rounds”.  Who are you going to shoot with those?  Yes I know you can shoot little brothers, but you’re going to lose the gun once mom finds out!  High Impact Rounds, really?  What the hell?  And people wonder why kids today are so violent!

Where are the fun toys?  The toys I can at least play with my brother for a little bit of time before getting into trouble?  Damn!  I did find some Toy Story dolls.  Back when the movie came out in 1995 they only had Buzz Lightyear and Sheriff Woody dolls.  Now you can at least also get Jessie, Rex, and Bullseye dolls, too.  Sadly they’re $44.99. Can this stuff be any more expensive?  What happened to the plastic Army Men from the movie?  They used to come in buckets for a few dollars, didn’t they?

Ok, I did find a bucket of Toy Story Army Men for $14.99.  What the hell?  The best thing about the Army Men was that they were cheap and you could have a lot of them!  Now they aren’t even cheap anymore!  Again, how about Amazon?  I did find a small bag of plastic Army Men for $5.99.  That had 36 men, but how about a package with 1,000 plastic Army men in it?  Two sides, two colors!  Now this is more like it!  I’d love this as a kid and you’d have these things all over the house!

Here’s the Amazon link for the 1,000 if anyone decides they need that.  I may decide I need this one day!

1,000 Plastic Army Men

So I didn’t really enjoy my trip to Toys R Us.  I think the toys of today suck.  I looked at the selection of Hot Wheels cars and they just didn’t look the same to me.  What happened to all the realistic type of cars?  I couldn’t find any G.I. Joe stuff either.  Where did he go?  I’m not happy about that at all.  I may have to search Amazon for some G.I. Joe stuff. 

Kids don’t go outside and play the way they used to.  They don’t ride bikes up and down the street.  The world has become unsafe and the toys suck now!  I’m glad I grew up when I did.  I think the toys were so much better back then.  So why do toys suck now?  I don’t know, they just do.  Keep asking why until next week.

Week 27: Why is vacation ending?

I’ve been on vacation for the past week.  It was fun, but why does it have to end?  Well for one thing, I think I need to get moving and not just lay around and relax all day.  That’s nice, and I may enjoy this for my “twilight years”, but for right not I’m not retired.  I need to get out and do something besides play video games and watch YouTube.

Now don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed my time off from work.  It was a lot less stress and I didn’t really have to deal with a bunch of stupid people.  But I didn’t really go anywhere and just stayed home and relaxed.  I’ve had vacations that were much harder to go back to work after they were over because I was exhausted after a long trip and needed a vacation from my vacation.  Take this vacation for instance:

Oh yes, that is a helium balloon taking me high up into the sky!  I was a little stressed during that ride as I kept imagining the cable in the middle holding the balloon in place snapping and then the balloon floating away with me in the basket.  Would I end up in Oz?  Maybe dead after the balloon went too high and popped and I plunged to the ground with all the other screaming people in the basket?  It was both quite frightening and quite a thrill at the same time!  You need a rest after things like that!  Here's a good shot of what the balloon I was riding in looked like:

That was during a vacation trip to Walt Disney World in Florida.  Trips there are both very fun and very exhausting!  Yes it was fun going up and seeing everything from high up, but it was also a bit stressful. 

I didn’t do too bad eating while I was on vacation this week.  I had a bit of fast food, but nothing crazy.  While on my trips to Florida and Walt Disney World I would pretty much eat whatever I wanted!  Even crazy stuff like this:

I don’t even remember what that was called, but it was huge and delicious!  I finished every last bite, too!  I was full to the brim!  I didn’t get anything like that this vacation.  I had a bit of chicken and some pork chops, but nothing like a pork shank!  Sadly they no longer serve these at Walt Disney World.  I don’t know why they stopped because they were my absolute favorite meal that I’ve ever had there!

Enough about food.  Yes, I ate a bit more sensibly this vacation than I would have on a fun trip somewhere.  And I relaxed more and wasn’t walking here and there trying to go everywhere and see everything during my week off.  I relaxed and it felt great!

Anyway, to keep this from getting too long, I didn’t really go anywhere for my vacation.  I did take a short trip to an IKEA store and that was fun for the 3 ½ hours I was there with my niece.  Maybe it was just fun because my niece was there?  We always have fun.  But I really only needed to decompress for a week.  It’ll feel good to get back to work, even if I’d rather be lounging around.

So until next week keep asking why, and I’ll try and figure out why vacation had to end.

Week 24: Why is it so hot?

Why is it so hot?  Today it was 113 degrees outside.  That’s just too hot.  I really hate summer time in Las Vegas.  And I’ve lived her a couple of decades, so it’s not like this heat is some huge surprise to me.  I’m glad the place where I live has air conditioning and thrilled that I also have air conditioning in my car.  The car I drove before this one didn’t have any air conditioning.  I don’t know how I would handle not having air conditioning now!  I don't know how I handled driving that thing with no air conditioning then!  This is insane!  And the worst part is that it’s still going to get hotter!  The weather forecast for the next couple of days says it may get up to 117 degrees.  If you’re in Europe, that’s 47.2 degrees Celsius.  Lovely, huh? 

My electric bill is going to triple now because I’m going to run the hell out of my air conditioner!  I was only outside for a bit today, mostly running from my car to someplace inside, but the small time I was outside it was like walking through an oven!  When the wind blows it’s like having a heater blowing in my face!  GAH!

I’m not sure what else to write about for this week because for the most part this is what’s on my mind.  I hate the heat.  I think I need a vacation until it cools off here again.  That should be around December, maybe.  Or at least that’s how long it feels like it’ll be hot.  Actually it’ll probably cool down a bit by November, but let’s not quibble.

I’m sure there are plenty of people outside who are happy to run to the pool, and you’d damned well be running if you’re barefoot.  The pavement out in the sun will burn the hell out of your feet.  Maybe I should go to one of the local water parks?  That sounds fun, but not when it’s 117 degrees out.  I would go down one slide and then have to stand in line for the next slide in the damned heat!  So a water park sounds fun, but on the other hand, it still seems just so hot!  And then I think about getting sunburned.  Ugh, just not for me this year!

So does the water on the slides at these parks heat up?  I’m not sure I want to be going down a water slide in water that’s 117 degrees.  It’s been a while since I’ve went down a water slide.  It all sounds thoroughly unpleasant just because I don’t like the heat.  I’m more of a snow lodge kind of guy.  Call me in the winter time to go to some ski lodge and build a snowman.

“But Robert, there might be some really cute girls in bikinis at a water park!”  You’d be right to say that.  You might actually call them “hot” girls.  And they’ll certainly be sweating up a storm while they’re at the water park getting sunburned and fried by the sun.  I think I need to just stay inside for this summer.  Yucko heat!  I’m going to keep my air conditioner on and dream about making a snowman.  Maybe I’ll put my head inside my freezer for a few minutes.  Until next week, (when it’ll probably be even hotter!) keep asking why and try to stay cool!

Week 23: Why my niece is fun!

I have a niece named Tiffany.  I really love Tiffany and she’s fun for me to spend time with.  Tiffany is also a genius law school student.  So she’s learning to argue as a profession.  I argue as a hobby and always enjoy having discussions with her.

I’m not always the most cooperative with her, though.  In a way, that’s fun for me.  She doesn’t think it’s as fun as I do.  Right now she’s learning about “negotiation”.  I think she’s even taking a class in this.  She doesn’t have such an easy time negotiating with me.  *chuckle*  This weekend she asked for suggestions if she has to “negotiate” with someone who is like me.  I don’t know what to tell her.  I frustrate her when she asks questions and I only give her limited answers.

Tiffany:  Did you go see a movie earlier?

Me: Yes.

Tiffany:  What movie did you see?

Me:  Yes, I saw a movie.

Tiffany:  What was the title?

Me:  The title of what?

Tiffany:  The movie!  What was the title of the movie you saw earlier?

Me:  It wasn’t as good as I thought it would be.

Sometimes I give a bit of information, but she knows there’s more.  She wants the additional information, but I just don’t give it out!

Tiffany:  Do you know where the nearest gas station is?

Me: Yes.

Tiffany:  Well, where is it?

Me: Down the street nearby.

Now don’t think I just hassle my niece all the time, because it’s not like that.  We actually have quite a bit in common.  We do have chats where I give her all the information she wants occasionally.  And we do laugh at a lot of the same things.  And she does occasionally hassle me back.

As I said earlier, my nice is a law school genius.  She told me her mind is like a file cabinet and she stores and sorts through all the information she learns there.  I like to try and disorganize her files.  *chuckle*  While other 22 year old girls are asking for phone numbers, my niece asks me for my social security number so she can memorize it.  What the hell does she need that for?  Who knows?  She just said she’d like to have it “just in case”.  Right.  So I gave this smart girl my social.  Then while she’s trying to memorize it, I kept repeating other numbers trying to confuse her.  Sadly, that didn’t work at all and as I write this she can probably still spout those numbers off.  (Don’t be posting that number as a comment on facebook or my blog!)  Yes, she reads my blogs.  *chuckle*

On another note, last week I noticed a game was released called Elder Scrolls Online Morrowind.  At first I thought it was a remake of the old Morrowind video game I had played on my original Xbox.  That’s an old game!  A remake?  Meh, why would I want a remake?  But looking into things a bit deeper, I found out that this is an expansion for an online role playing game.  It looked interesting.  So you can run around and play by yourself with other players around you, or you can decide to team up with other characters.  Why not take a chance on this?  I figured I could order and receive the game for my Playstation 4 by last Thursday, and then have it all installed and updated by the weekend so I could play it then.  Sadly, that’s not what happened.

I did get the game Thursday morning (Fantastic delivery time by Amazon.com!) and slid the CD into my Playstation 4.  Checking the back of the case I find out the basic game takes up 85 gigabytes of space.  85 GBS!  Holy cow!  Well hopefully the graphics should be fantastic.  That’s the largest file I’ve ever installed anywhere on any kind of electronic devise!  Damn!  But that’s not the end of it!  Once it was installed on my Playstation, there is now over a 46 GB download to go along with it!  46 GB?  That’s going to take me almost a damn week to get downloaded, and that’s if I stay off the internet!  What the hell?  This had best be the greatest game in the history of games!

So I started the download slog.  Every so often I pause the download so I can watch YouTube, or Netflix, or just surf the web.  I end up watching other people on YouTube playing the Morrowind game!  It actually DOES look pretty good!  Now I can’t wait to play it!  As I write this, I have an approximate 33 hours left of downloading to do to complete the game so I can play it.  Sheesh, talk about anticipation!

Well, back to letting my 33 hour download continue.  I’ll probably pause it a few times to do a few other things so this will probably take me the rest of the week to finish.  Ah well, more time to text vague things to my niece.  *chuckle*

So why is my niece fun?  She just is!  And hopefully Morrowind will be fun too, if I ever get to play it.  So while I’m finishing up my download and annoying Tiffany, keep asking why!

Week 22: Why are lawyers like this?

Why do we need lawyers?  Shakespeare once wrote “Kill all the lawyers”. But in a society of law and order we need people to help uphold the laws besides police, I guess.  Highly paid people.  If you study law, you can become a judge, or maybe even run for political office.  I can run for political office without being a lawyer, but lawyers seem to have a better chance at winning in an election.  Maybe because they study laws?  Who better to make (or break) laws than an attorney?

Apparently “laws” are about arguing.  They aren’t a standard by which a society can be measured, they are points to be argued about.  If laws were simply rules to be followed, why do we need judges?  Why can’t we just program a computer with the laws and then when someone breaks a law, the lawyer they hire can bring the case to the computer.  Laws would be uniform then and you wouldn’t have to worry about rich, poor, famous, unknown, or anything like that.  The computer would state the laws and if you broke them, you received a penalty.

But no, laws are about arguing.  Arguing and sometimes fighting.  Sometimes you just have to bust some attorney’s head!  YOU HAVE TO TAKE THEM OUTSIDE AND… and…wait, that’s not really legal, is it?  That doesn’t really happen, does it?  I mean judges don’t really attack attorneys.  Except for this:

Judge beats up defense attorney

People in the courtroom applaud when the judge walked back into the court room!  Is this how we’re going to handle things now?  In case the full video didn’t play right in the article link I added, feel free to watch the YouTube video:

Actual courtroom video

That happened in Florida, and that place isn’t known for its law abiding citizens.  Many odd things happen in Florida. We don’t have any bad lawyers or judges in Nevada, do we?  Uh…well…

Lawyer's relationship with inmate

What…what the hell is that?  She went to law school and passed the bar exam to get a law license just to throw her career away to have relations with an inmate?  This is Harley Quinn from DC comics, only she’s not a psychiatrist treating the Joker, she’s a lawyer visiting some gang member in jail!

So much corruption!  Actually that’s only an example of two idiots.  So why do people want to be attorneys?  To get rich?  To “help” people?  Maybe they just like the law and detailed, complicated paperwork?  *chuckle*  Maybe a lot of prospective attorneys see the movie A Few Good Men and can imagine themselves in Tom Cruise’s role?

Yes, that was a bit of military law, but still a fantastic courtroom scene!  And I’m certain quite a few attorneys and law students would like to argue about how inaccurate it was.  It was still fun to watch though, wasn’t it?  Sadly, not too many attorneys get to be that guy.  Some law students read To Kill a Mockingbird, other see movies like From the Hip, or My Cousin Vinnie.  I'm sure there are lots of reasons people become attorneys.

So before I end this blog today I'll leave a video for my niece who is attending law school right at this moment.  A bit of inspiration for her for later on when she's asking why in some courtroom, or office, or whatever.

So why are lawyers like this?  I don't know, hopefully because some of them care.  *chuckle*  So until next time, keep asking why.  And argue with a law school student about why, too!

Week 21: Why Memorial Day?

I only get one day off from work this week.  And why is that, you may ask?  Because this coming Monday is Memorial Day.  A day to celebrate all the military veterans who gave their lives.  I’m a veteran, but I’m still alive.  That pretty much means I have to work extra.  What a prize for being a veteran, huh?

Some vets have Monday off.  I’m sure most people working in an office have the day off.  It’s also the official start of summer.  Hooray.  I’m not much for summer.  It’s always too hot and people are really dumb during summer.  Ok yes, people are really dumb all the time, but sometimes they’re especially dumb during summer.  And if I go somewhere during somewhere and park my car outside, when I come back it’s always like driving around an oven.

So what do I do with just one day off?  I’ll sit home not happy about going in to work tomorrow night, but something else needs to be done.  I watched some videos on YouTube.  I still need to watch the movie called Warcraft.  I also decided to watch some videos about the video game Warcraft.  Part of me would like to play it!  I’ve played it years ago and I guess it was fun.  You can be a panda in the game now!  Who doesn’t want to be a panda?

I think about it, but I’d have to download a lot of stuff to my PC and there’s no way I’d be able to play Warcraft during my one day off.  Maybe I’ll want to play next week?  I don’t know.  Who can say?  Maybe I’ll be frustrated at work tomorrow night and not even make it to next week? 

Well since I only have one night off, I don’t want to waste it writing a blog, so I’ll make this one short and sweet and go back to watching my videos and playing video games.  Maybe I’ll be in a better mood next week when I’m looking forward to both holiday and overtime pay? 

Until then, keep asking Why.

Week 20: Why the DMV?

This week I had to register my car.  That means a lovely trip to the DMV, or Department of Motor Vehicles.  I don’t think anyone ever wants to go there.  It’s one of those places you just don’t want to be, and yet if you have to go, you end up there waiting for hours sometimes. 

         My car registration isn’t really due until June 1, but why wait?  If something comes up next weekend and I’m not able to make it to the DMV, then I would end up driving with expired license plates and that’s not good.  I support the police, but really don’t want to be pulled over by an officer because of expired plates.

Before I can go and register my car I need to have it “smogged”.  That means I have to take it somewhere and have someone check the emissions and make sure everything is in order.  That’s not so bad.  I went to the same place I always go that is just around the corner from where  I live.  A very nice Asian guy checked my emissions and once my car passed, gave me a nice certificate that says the car passed.  That cost me $20.  Yes, I could have found a coupon somewhere, but I was angry enough about what I was going to have to pay at the DMV and didn’t care about a couple more dollars.

So what was I going to have to pay?  Well my car registration fee was $33.  Sounds low, right?  Very nice!  Ah, but wait!  The government isn’t finished with me and my car after the $33.  I see a few more charges added to my total:

$114 Government SVCS tax.

What the hell is that?  Is that a “service” tax?  What damned service is the government doing for me besides trying to take all my money and give it to some millionaire politician?  And it doesn’t end there!

$28 SUPL Government SVCS tax.

So not only do I have to pay a service tax for the government, I also have to pay a supplemental service tax?  Is that what SUPL means?  So I’m being taxed for “service” if that’s even what SVCS means, and then I’m being taxed again for it?  What the hell kind of bullshit is this?  And no, that’s not the end either!

$1 Technology fee VR.

Technology fee?  Why am I paying a technology fee, let alone for VR?  Especially if VR stands for Virtual Reality!  That’s the only VR I know!  What virtual reality am I being allowed to use for this registration?  I don’t even know what this means?  Actually I guess altogether this means I owe the state $176 to drive my car for another year.  You’d think it’s over there, wouldn’t you?  But no, it isn’t.

After my pleasant “smogging” experience, I drive over to the lovely DMV.  There is nowhere to park.  The entire lot in front of the DMV is not only full, there are still other cars driving around looking for somewhere to park, but there are no empty spots!  How the hell am I supposed to register my car if I can’t even park?

I’ll pause here and address the people who asked me “Why didn’t you just do this online or through the mail?”  Because I don’t want my new tags mailed to me and lost by the post office!  I want them in my hand if I’m going to pay $176 for them!  (That’s not my final total though, as you’ll see!)

I have to park across the street and cross at a stoplight at a very busy intersection.  I hate having to walk across a street like that!  But if I go in and use one of the machines, I can get this over with quickly.

There are DMV machines other places, but I want to use one where if I want to complain about something, I have people right there to complain to.  I get to the DMV entrance and there is a line out the door.  I’m really glad I’m using a machine and don’t have to get in the line out the door!  If I did want to complain now, I would have to wait in the long line, so unless the machine takes a finger off or something, I won’t complain.

Once I walk inside I realize the DMV doesn’t feel the need to use any air conditioning.  The place is jammed with people, too!  And not just people, unhappy, smelly, people.  It’s hot and stinks.  No one seems to be happy in there.  There is a short line for the DMV machines, but I only have two guys in front of me.  I wait patiently and finally it’s my turn.  I scan my card with all my “charges” on it and the machine now tells me that for the privilege of using the machine, I have to pay $3 more.  So now that I’m being charged a “Technology fee” let’s just pile on more charges for using the technology!

I just want the hell out of there, so I push the “agree” button.  It now asks if I qualify for a “benefit”.  Am I legally blind?  Um…why are they allowing blind people to register vehicles.  The screen on the machine I’m using isn’t in braille, so how would a legally blind person even know to select that?  How stupid is that?  Anyway, moving on…

I’m not blind, or whatever the second thing was, I was just trying to get through this and don’t remember what the second selection was.  The third selection says “Veteran”.  I am a military veteran.  I should push that button!  I’ll get a veteran’s discount!  Finally, some light at the end of the tunnel!  I hesitate, though.  What proof are they going to want that I’m a veteran?  I know the machine isn’t going to just let me push the button and then give me a discount without proof.  Maybe it will tell me to stand in the line out the door?  Maybe I had to have registered with the DMV as a veteran before coming?  I don’t know.  There are other people waiting to use the machine and they want me to finish up and go away!  I want to finish up and go away!  So I passed on the veteran’s discount.  I don’t think that was really fair, though. 

Now the machine confirms that I want to pay $179 to register my car.  There was that split second of “Screw this, I’ll just ride the bus!”  But I know better than that.  I’m not going to ride a bus.  So I shoved my debit card into the machine and paid the $179.  Luckily my registration and license plate tag came out of the machine and I didn’t have to wait in line to complain. 

I hate the DMV.  Why?  Well, I just explained some of why.  At least that’s done for another year.  Until next week, keep asking why.