Week 32: Why I went to Walmart

Usually on my days off I’ll make a trip to a grocery store called Winco.  Winco is a very nice place and usually has the groceries I need for the week.  I’m happy to go there and they usually have pretty good prices.  This week, I was relaxing, and tired, and figured I would instead go to Walmart and see what I could find.  Walmart usually has more expensive groceries, but they also occasionally get some odd things and I was in the mood for odd things.

For those of you reading this who don’t know what Walmart is, here’s a web site to show you a few photos from Walmarts around the US:

People of Walmart

Yes, it’s a bit low class, but there’s a fairly nice one a bit up the road from me.  I figured I could stop there and look around and then maybe go to Winco for the real groceries.  After getting to Walmart though, I felt a bit lazy and figured maybe I could just spend the few extra dollars and get all my groceries there for one stop.

First off, Walmart is full of screaming children.  This seems to be at all hours of the night too, because the place is open 24 hours a day.  I’ve been in there at 3am hearing kids screaming at the top of their lungs.  I don’t know what it is with people bringing screaming children out to shop!  There are usually one or two screaming kids at Winco, but not to the extent of Walmart!

Anyway, I begin looking around and stop at the egg section.  Eggs are a bit expensive here.  The brown eggs are REALLY expensive!  What the hell is so special about a brown chicken egg anyway?  I’ve never understood that?  Do they come from chocolate chickens or something?

I do need some eggs, but I don’t need eggs bad enough to pay for the brown ones.  Into the cart (or trolley, or basket, or whatever you want to call it) they go.  Next I end up in the frozen food section.  I come across this:

Deep Fried Chocolate Twinkies…that are also frozen.  Who the hell is buying this stuff?  Yes, that’s something somewhat new and original, but damn!  I won’t be paying for those.  As a matter of fact, I’m not certain I’d accept one if you tried to give it to me for free!  I don’t find regular Twinkies to be especially good, let alone chocolate, fried, and frozen ones!

There has to be better frozen stuff to try!  I go a bit further and find something else.  I was so stunned by the stuff I was looking at, I apparently forgot to take a photo!  It was Doritos Loaded Jalapeno & Cheese.  Not chips, but some kind of Doritos thing loaded with liquid cheese.  This I need to try.  It's a bit expensive, but what the hell!  There were actually a few flavors, but the Jalapeño and cheese looked good to me.  Into the cart they went!

Now as I’m walking around, I come across some new M&Ms.  I absolutely LOVE M&Ms!  These are new flavors, though.  The first one is called Pecan Pie.  I don’t think I’ve ever tried pecan pie before, so I’m not sure if I would like an M&M flavor that tastes like that.  I once bought some Vanilla Cupcake M&Ms and they tasted exactly like vanilla cupcakes, so I have to assume the pecan pie M&Ms taste exactly like pecan pie.  I’ll have to take a pass.  There’s also a White candy corn flavor, but if I wanted to eat candy corn, I would buy candy corn.  I can’t figure out why you would want M&Ms that taste like that.

Next I happened upon the chip aisle.  Now Lays is always trying out new chip flavors.  Some look good, and some look awful to me.  The good ones I’ll sometimes pay for and give them a shot.  Why not, it’s only a couple of dollars, right?  And so here we go, Fried Green Tomato wavy chips?  Or Bacon wrapped jalapeno popper chips.  Well, I’ve already got the Doritos molten cheese things in my cart, might as well try to Bacon wrapped chips.  Now to be clear, the chips aren’t actually wrapped in bacon, that’s just the flavor (supposedly).  It really would be neat to have bacon wrapped Lays chips, though!

Enough of Walmart!  Finally after getting a few other things I head for the check out counter.  They have one girl working and she’s obviously the slowest person they could hire.  I could have went to the self check-out registers, but they never have enough room to put all my stuff before I pay!  So I wait and wait and think about how my milk and ice cream are getting warm.  (Yes, I also bought some double chocolate Klondike bars.  YUMMY!)

On the drive home, I can hear this weird squeaking.  I start wondering if there’s a problem with my car.  Finally I realize it’s the damned egg carton that’s made of Styrofoam squeaking!  The eggs at Winco come in a cardboard kind of package.  I’m never buying eggs from Walmart again now!  That noise was driving me crazy for the whole drive home!  GAH!

So why did I go to Walmart this week?  I don’t know.  Actually, I do know.  It was to buy some more black socks.  I should have then went to Winco.  I’ll stay away from Walmart for a while now.  Until I make the mistake and go back anyway, keep asking why.