Week 22: Why are lawyers like this?

Why do we need lawyers?  Shakespeare once wrote “Kill all the lawyers”. But in a society of law and order we need people to help uphold the laws besides police, I guess.  Highly paid people.  If you study law, you can become a judge, or maybe even run for political office.  I can run for political office without being a lawyer, but lawyers seem to have a better chance at winning in an election.  Maybe because they study laws?  Who better to make (or break) laws than an attorney?

Apparently “laws” are about arguing.  They aren’t a standard by which a society can be measured, they are points to be argued about.  If laws were simply rules to be followed, why do we need judges?  Why can’t we just program a computer with the laws and then when someone breaks a law, the lawyer they hire can bring the case to the computer.  Laws would be uniform then and you wouldn’t have to worry about rich, poor, famous, unknown, or anything like that.  The computer would state the laws and if you broke them, you received a penalty.

But no, laws are about arguing.  Arguing and sometimes fighting.  Sometimes you just have to bust some attorney’s head!  YOU HAVE TO TAKE THEM OUTSIDE AND… and…wait, that’s not really legal, is it?  That doesn’t really happen, does it?  I mean judges don’t really attack attorneys.  Except for this:

Judge beats up defense attorney

People in the courtroom applaud when the judge walked back into the court room!  Is this how we’re going to handle things now?  In case the full video didn’t play right in the article link I added, feel free to watch the YouTube video:

Actual courtroom video

That happened in Florida, and that place isn’t known for its law abiding citizens.  Many odd things happen in Florida. We don’t have any bad lawyers or judges in Nevada, do we?  Uh…well…

Lawyer's relationship with inmate

What…what the hell is that?  She went to law school and passed the bar exam to get a law license just to throw her career away to have relations with an inmate?  This is Harley Quinn from DC comics, only she’s not a psychiatrist treating the Joker, she’s a lawyer visiting some gang member in jail!

So much corruption!  Actually that’s only an example of two idiots.  So why do people want to be attorneys?  To get rich?  To “help” people?  Maybe they just like the law and detailed, complicated paperwork?  *chuckle*  Maybe a lot of prospective attorneys see the movie A Few Good Men and can imagine themselves in Tom Cruise’s role?

Yes, that was a bit of military law, but still a fantastic courtroom scene!  And I’m certain quite a few attorneys and law students would like to argue about how inaccurate it was.  It was still fun to watch though, wasn’t it?  Sadly, not too many attorneys get to be that guy.  Some law students read To Kill a Mockingbird, other see movies like From the Hip, or My Cousin Vinnie.  I'm sure there are lots of reasons people become attorneys.

So before I end this blog today I'll leave a video for my niece who is attending law school right at this moment.  A bit of inspiration for her for later on when she's asking why in some courtroom, or office, or whatever.

So why are lawyers like this?  I don't know, hopefully because some of them care.  *chuckle*  So until next time, keep asking why.  And argue with a law school student about why, too!