Week 25: Why are these people in my way?

I’m finding more and more people in my way.  They’re everywhere!  And it’s not just crowds of people going places, it’s idiots who just stand there staring off into space or something like that!  I stopped at the store tonight and as I get to the entrance, I can’t go in because there’s two women standing in the doorway yapping away to each other.  They don’t even seem to notice that people are waiting to walk through the door!  Eventually they move, but what the hell?  They can’t find a better place than a doorway to have a conversation?

I get into the store and it seems like every aisle I go down there is someone with a cart parked in the middle of the aisle staring at the shelves.  They don’t even appear to be conscious to me.  I mean if you’re maybe comparing two products, that’s fine.  But to just stand there in the middle of the aisle and stare really freaks me out.

Now let’s move on to the zombies who walk around staring at their cell phone.  They don’t even seem to know or care where they’re going, they just walk along staring unblinkingly at the small electronic thing in their hand.

Wow, so people in New Jersey have a huge problem with texting and walking?  How about instead of handing out fines, they send out a guy with a Wiffle bat who smacks people in the head who are walking around starting at their phones or texting?  Ok, in case you don’t know what a wiffle bat is, it’s a hollow, plastic bat that comes with a plastic ball.  It wouldn’t really injure anyone you smacked, but it would most certainly hurt to get smacked in the head by one!

If you watch the above video one guy almost walks into a bear.  Maybe he deserved to get smacked by the bear?  And the very polite British people padded their street poles so that when the idiots over there walk into them, they won’t get hurt.  How lovely!  Let’s not fix the problem, let’s just try to make it more comfortable.

How about we pass a law that says if someone walks out in the road in front of you and is texting, you can legally run them over.  Or make it legal to hit someone with a Wiffle bat if they’re walking and texting.  Pass that law and guess what I’ll be taking to work!  That’s just the weight loss solution I need because I won’t spend my lunch time eating anymore, I’ll be roaming the hallways with my Wiffle bat getting plenty of exercise smacking the hell out of people!

Now I’m a nice guy.  I try to be nice to just about everyone I meet, but enough is enough.  If you walk into me because you’re staring at your phone, I won’t be nice.  In fact, I may even slap it out of your hand!  What the hell? And while we’re at it, I’m so tired of seeing idiots driving around texting on their phone, too. 

I was going to put up a video showing some texting and driving, but there’s actually nothing funny about that.  People wreck and die doing that.  STOP IT! 

Ok, enough venting for this week.  Until next week, keep asking why and get out of the shop doorway!  Stop staring at your phone while you’re driving and walking and PAY ATTENTION!