Week 25: Why are these people in my way?

I’m finding more and more people in my way.  They’re everywhere!  And it’s not just crowds of people going places, it’s idiots who just stand there staring off into space or something like that!  I stopped at the store tonight and as I get to the entrance, I can’t go in because there’s two women standing in the doorway yapping away to each other.  They don’t even seem to notice that people are waiting to walk through the door!  Eventually they move, but what the hell?  They can’t find a better place than a doorway to have a conversation?

I get into the store and it seems like every aisle I go down there is someone with a cart parked in the middle of the aisle staring at the shelves.  They don’t even appear to be conscious to me.  I mean if you’re maybe comparing two products, that’s fine.  But to just stand there in the middle of the aisle and stare really freaks me out.

Now let’s move on to the zombies who walk around staring at their cell phone.  They don’t even seem to know or care where they’re going, they just walk along staring unblinkingly at the small electronic thing in their hand.

Wow, so people in New Jersey have a huge problem with texting and walking?  How about instead of handing out fines, they send out a guy with a Wiffle bat who smacks people in the head who are walking around starting at their phones or texting?  Ok, in case you don’t know what a wiffle bat is, it’s a hollow, plastic bat that comes with a plastic ball.  It wouldn’t really injure anyone you smacked, but it would most certainly hurt to get smacked in the head by one!

If you watch the above video one guy almost walks into a bear.  Maybe he deserved to get smacked by the bear?  And the very polite British people padded their street poles so that when the idiots over there walk into them, they won’t get hurt.  How lovely!  Let’s not fix the problem, let’s just try to make it more comfortable.

How about we pass a law that says if someone walks out in the road in front of you and is texting, you can legally run them over.  Or make it legal to hit someone with a Wiffle bat if they’re walking and texting.  Pass that law and guess what I’ll be taking to work!  That’s just the weight loss solution I need because I won’t spend my lunch time eating anymore, I’ll be roaming the hallways with my Wiffle bat getting plenty of exercise smacking the hell out of people!

Now I’m a nice guy.  I try to be nice to just about everyone I meet, but enough is enough.  If you walk into me because you’re staring at your phone, I won’t be nice.  In fact, I may even slap it out of your hand!  What the hell? And while we’re at it, I’m so tired of seeing idiots driving around texting on their phone, too. 

I was going to put up a video showing some texting and driving, but there’s actually nothing funny about that.  People wreck and die doing that.  STOP IT! 

Ok, enough venting for this week.  Until next week, keep asking why and get out of the shop doorway!  Stop staring at your phone while you’re driving and walking and PAY ATTENTION!

Week 24: Why is it so hot?

Why is it so hot?  Today it was 113 degrees outside.  That’s just too hot.  I really hate summer time in Las Vegas.  And I’ve lived her a couple of decades, so it’s not like this heat is some huge surprise to me.  I’m glad the place where I live has air conditioning and thrilled that I also have air conditioning in my car.  The car I drove before this one didn’t have any air conditioning.  I don’t know how I would handle not having air conditioning now!  I don't know how I handled driving that thing with no air conditioning then!  This is insane!  And the worst part is that it’s still going to get hotter!  The weather forecast for the next couple of days says it may get up to 117 degrees.  If you’re in Europe, that’s 47.2 degrees Celsius.  Lovely, huh? 

My electric bill is going to triple now because I’m going to run the hell out of my air conditioner!  I was only outside for a bit today, mostly running from my car to someplace inside, but the small time I was outside it was like walking through an oven!  When the wind blows it’s like having a heater blowing in my face!  GAH!

I’m not sure what else to write about for this week because for the most part this is what’s on my mind.  I hate the heat.  I think I need a vacation until it cools off here again.  That should be around December, maybe.  Or at least that’s how long it feels like it’ll be hot.  Actually it’ll probably cool down a bit by November, but let’s not quibble.

I’m sure there are plenty of people outside who are happy to run to the pool, and you’d damned well be running if you’re barefoot.  The pavement out in the sun will burn the hell out of your feet.  Maybe I should go to one of the local water parks?  That sounds fun, but not when it’s 117 degrees out.  I would go down one slide and then have to stand in line for the next slide in the damned heat!  So a water park sounds fun, but on the other hand, it still seems just so hot!  And then I think about getting sunburned.  Ugh, just not for me this year!

So does the water on the slides at these parks heat up?  I’m not sure I want to be going down a water slide in water that’s 117 degrees.  It’s been a while since I’ve went down a water slide.  It all sounds thoroughly unpleasant just because I don’t like the heat.  I’m more of a snow lodge kind of guy.  Call me in the winter time to go to some ski lodge and build a snowman.

“But Robert, there might be some really cute girls in bikinis at a water park!”  You’d be right to say that.  You might actually call them “hot” girls.  And they’ll certainly be sweating up a storm while they’re at the water park getting sunburned and fried by the sun.  I think I need to just stay inside for this summer.  Yucko heat!  I’m going to keep my air conditioner on and dream about making a snowman.  Maybe I’ll put my head inside my freezer for a few minutes.  Until next week, (when it’ll probably be even hotter!) keep asking why and try to stay cool!

Week 23: Why my niece is fun!

I have a niece named Tiffany.  I really love Tiffany and she’s fun for me to spend time with.  Tiffany is also a genius law school student.  So she’s learning to argue as a profession.  I argue as a hobby and always enjoy having discussions with her.

I’m not always the most cooperative with her, though.  In a way, that’s fun for me.  She doesn’t think it’s as fun as I do.  Right now she’s learning about “negotiation”.  I think she’s even taking a class in this.  She doesn’t have such an easy time negotiating with me.  *chuckle*  This weekend she asked for suggestions if she has to “negotiate” with someone who is like me.  I don’t know what to tell her.  I frustrate her when she asks questions and I only give her limited answers.

Tiffany:  Did you go see a movie earlier?

Me: Yes.

Tiffany:  What movie did you see?

Me:  Yes, I saw a movie.

Tiffany:  What was the title?

Me:  The title of what?

Tiffany:  The movie!  What was the title of the movie you saw earlier?

Me:  It wasn’t as good as I thought it would be.

Sometimes I give a bit of information, but she knows there’s more.  She wants the additional information, but I just don’t give it out!

Tiffany:  Do you know where the nearest gas station is?

Me: Yes.

Tiffany:  Well, where is it?

Me: Down the street nearby.

Now don’t think I just hassle my niece all the time, because it’s not like that.  We actually have quite a bit in common.  We do have chats where I give her all the information she wants occasionally.  And we do laugh at a lot of the same things.  And she does occasionally hassle me back.

As I said earlier, my nice is a law school genius.  She told me her mind is like a file cabinet and she stores and sorts through all the information she learns there.  I like to try and disorganize her files.  *chuckle*  While other 22 year old girls are asking for phone numbers, my niece asks me for my social security number so she can memorize it.  What the hell does she need that for?  Who knows?  She just said she’d like to have it “just in case”.  Right.  So I gave this smart girl my social.  Then while she’s trying to memorize it, I kept repeating other numbers trying to confuse her.  Sadly, that didn’t work at all and as I write this she can probably still spout those numbers off.  (Don’t be posting that number as a comment on facebook or my blog!)  Yes, she reads my blogs.  *chuckle*

On another note, last week I noticed a game was released called Elder Scrolls Online Morrowind.  At first I thought it was a remake of the old Morrowind video game I had played on my original Xbox.  That’s an old game!  A remake?  Meh, why would I want a remake?  But looking into things a bit deeper, I found out that this is an expansion for an online role playing game.  It looked interesting.  So you can run around and play by yourself with other players around you, or you can decide to team up with other characters.  Why not take a chance on this?  I figured I could order and receive the game for my Playstation 4 by last Thursday, and then have it all installed and updated by the weekend so I could play it then.  Sadly, that’s not what happened.

I did get the game Thursday morning (Fantastic delivery time by Amazon.com!) and slid the CD into my Playstation 4.  Checking the back of the case I find out the basic game takes up 85 gigabytes of space.  85 GBS!  Holy cow!  Well hopefully the graphics should be fantastic.  That’s the largest file I’ve ever installed anywhere on any kind of electronic devise!  Damn!  But that’s not the end of it!  Once it was installed on my Playstation, there is now over a 46 GB download to go along with it!  46 GB?  That’s going to take me almost a damn week to get downloaded, and that’s if I stay off the internet!  What the hell?  This had best be the greatest game in the history of games!

So I started the download slog.  Every so often I pause the download so I can watch YouTube, or Netflix, or just surf the web.  I end up watching other people on YouTube playing the Morrowind game!  It actually DOES look pretty good!  Now I can’t wait to play it!  As I write this, I have an approximate 33 hours left of downloading to do to complete the game so I can play it.  Sheesh, talk about anticipation!

Well, back to letting my 33 hour download continue.  I’ll probably pause it a few times to do a few other things so this will probably take me the rest of the week to finish.  Ah well, more time to text vague things to my niece.  *chuckle*

So why is my niece fun?  She just is!  And hopefully Morrowind will be fun too, if I ever get to play it.  So while I’m finishing up my download and annoying Tiffany, keep asking why!

Week 22: Why are lawyers like this?

Why do we need lawyers?  Shakespeare once wrote “Kill all the lawyers”. But in a society of law and order we need people to help uphold the laws besides police, I guess.  Highly paid people.  If you study law, you can become a judge, or maybe even run for political office.  I can run for political office without being a lawyer, but lawyers seem to have a better chance at winning in an election.  Maybe because they study laws?  Who better to make (or break) laws than an attorney?

Apparently “laws” are about arguing.  They aren’t a standard by which a society can be measured, they are points to be argued about.  If laws were simply rules to be followed, why do we need judges?  Why can’t we just program a computer with the laws and then when someone breaks a law, the lawyer they hire can bring the case to the computer.  Laws would be uniform then and you wouldn’t have to worry about rich, poor, famous, unknown, or anything like that.  The computer would state the laws and if you broke them, you received a penalty.

But no, laws are about arguing.  Arguing and sometimes fighting.  Sometimes you just have to bust some attorney’s head!  YOU HAVE TO TAKE THEM OUTSIDE AND… and…wait, that’s not really legal, is it?  That doesn’t really happen, does it?  I mean judges don’t really attack attorneys.  Except for this:

Judge beats up defense attorney

People in the courtroom applaud when the judge walked back into the court room!  Is this how we’re going to handle things now?  In case the full video didn’t play right in the article link I added, feel free to watch the YouTube video:

Actual courtroom video

That happened in Florida, and that place isn’t known for its law abiding citizens.  Many odd things happen in Florida. We don’t have any bad lawyers or judges in Nevada, do we?  Uh…well…

Lawyer's relationship with inmate

What…what the hell is that?  She went to law school and passed the bar exam to get a law license just to throw her career away to have relations with an inmate?  This is Harley Quinn from DC comics, only she’s not a psychiatrist treating the Joker, she’s a lawyer visiting some gang member in jail!

So much corruption!  Actually that’s only an example of two idiots.  So why do people want to be attorneys?  To get rich?  To “help” people?  Maybe they just like the law and detailed, complicated paperwork?  *chuckle*  Maybe a lot of prospective attorneys see the movie A Few Good Men and can imagine themselves in Tom Cruise’s role?

Yes, that was a bit of military law, but still a fantastic courtroom scene!  And I’m certain quite a few attorneys and law students would like to argue about how inaccurate it was.  It was still fun to watch though, wasn’t it?  Sadly, not too many attorneys get to be that guy.  Some law students read To Kill a Mockingbird, other see movies like From the Hip, or My Cousin Vinnie.  I'm sure there are lots of reasons people become attorneys.

So before I end this blog today I'll leave a video for my niece who is attending law school right at this moment.  A bit of inspiration for her for later on when she's asking why in some courtroom, or office, or whatever.

So why are lawyers like this?  I don't know, hopefully because some of them care.  *chuckle*  So until next time, keep asking why.  And argue with a law school student about why, too!