Week 42: Why I paid out the eyes.

Maybe the title of this blog should be Why I paid out the ass?  Eyes seemed more suitable, though.  For this week my little chore was to go and see an optician.  I can still see ok, but I need to renew my driver’s license soon and I’m sure that will be a whole blog and a half by itself.  But before I head to the Department of Motor Vehicles, I wanted to make sure I could easily pass the eye exam part.  You never know, right?

I had a nice appointment in the afternoon for the optician.  I’m not afraid of the eye doctor, but I hate going to them for two reasons:  Firstly they always do this test where they blow a puff of air into each eye one by one and I absolutely HATE that!  It hurts!  Yes, I’m being a big baby about this, but usually when they do it I get all pissed off and then whatever they’re looking for gets worse and they want to do the test again and again!  Maybe things will look better after a few more shots?  I just get angrier and angrier and the test results look worse and worse, whatever they’re testing!

Secondly I hate going because it ends up costing me a damned fortune!  Even with insurance these guys are outrageous!  Well let me correct that, the optician visit was only $10.  The new glasses and frames are what cost a fortune!  And they never have the frames you want!

My last visit was only a year ago, so they remembered me.  I’m not sure if I was that much trouble, or that nice about things, but they did remember me.  Especially when the eye air puff thing test started.  I don’t think she wanted to screw around with me much for this visit, so she just did each eye once and then said that was fine. 

Then I get to see the actual optician.  She’s very nice and wants to dilate my eyes.  No dice there, I don’t want my eyes dilated.  She’d like to take some photos of my eyes.  I don’t want photos taken either!  I just want to see if my eyes have changed and are bad enough that I won’t pass an eye test for my driver’s license!

She checks me over and then tells me that my eyes are a quarter better again.  A quarter of what, I don’t know.  What’s going on is that I’m extremely nearsighted.  And now that I’m getting older, my eyes have decided they want to be a bit farsighted.  This just corrects my nearsightedness!  So if I live to be about 80, maybe I’ll have 20/20 vision without glasses!  What a pain in the ass! 

So after what was a quick and painless appointment with the optician, I now get to deal with the people in the outer office.  They are expensive.  VERY expensive!  I take the prescription the optician has given me and give it to this very nice girl.  I also tell her I want the same exact frames I have now.  I like the frames I’m wearing, so why not get the same thing, right?  She types everything into a computer and then tells me the insurance won’t pay for the frames.  I’m not surprised, they barely paid for anything last year!  They apparently only want to pay for frames once every two years.  They’ll pay for an optician visit once a year, but not for frames.  Insurance companies really suck at the moment.  When they do pay, I think it's only about $20, or some shitty amount like that.

I want new glasses, though.  It doesn’t make sense to go to the optician and then not get new glasses.  So I just pay the $265.  Yes, that’s how much it cost me for my new glasses.  They should be ready in 7 to 10 business days.  F&%$K!  So I don’t get my expensive new glasses for about two weeks or so.  How lovely, huh?

Is that the end?  Of course not!  I find a message on my phone shortly after leaving the optician’s place telling me that the frames I want are no longer available.  That’s just fantastic.  What the hell?  I called back and the clerk tells me they “manufacturer”  had a few other frames that were supposedly pretty much the same.  I wonder how “pretty much”?  I have to choose between the colors of gun metal, or gold.  I chose gun metal.  Maybe I should have chosen gold?  I certainly paid enough for gold glasses!

I’d like to think I’ll have my glasses by the next blog, but who really knows?  So why did I pay through the eyes this week?  All so I will hopefully be able to get a new driver’s license!  Until next week, keep asking why.  Then thank God every night if you don’t have to wear glasses!  You’re saving a lot of money if you can see well!