Week 41: Why you don't give young girls digital controls.

I figured I’d be a nice guy.  I thought I would be a thoughtful uncle and buy my niece a present.  She likes the electronic world just like I do.  She studies hard and is in her second year of law school.  I figured she’s always studying and so why not give her something frivolous?  Maybe a new electronic toy for her to figure out when she’s not studying?  Sure, why not?  We’ll get to the why not shortly.

I bought my niece an Echo Dot.  I figured she can play music with it, ask it questions, and maybe have some fun every so often.  I really enjoy my Echo Dot.  So I ordered one from Amazon and surprised her with it.  And then the world changed.

Now a while ago I bought myself a lightbulb that works with my Echo Dot.  I can use the Dot to change the lightbulb’s colors and turn the light off and on.  I’m pretty entertained by it.  My niece has now figured out how to change my lightbulb’s colors and turn it off and on.  That’s not a good thing.

So after visiting with her and giving her the wonderful gift of the Dot, I got home and was just starting to relax and watch television when my light turns red.  Now the whole room is red.  I knew I shouldn’t have let her know she could do this.  Before I can text her, the light turns green.  Now she texts me and asks if the light is changing.  YES IT’S CHANGING, BUT I’M TRYING TO WATCH TV!  Now the messages begin to come in.  The Echo Dot says I have a message.  It’s from my niece asking if the light has changed. *sigh*  I get several more messages.  Wow.

So now she’s learned how to message me, and change my light color.  The next day I went to get some groceries and turned on my light before leaving.  I return and it’s turned off.  I turn it back on and now it’s yellow.  Oy.  And then comes another lovely surprise:  My niece has learned how to “drop in” with the Dot.  That means she can just open up my Dot and hear what’s going on on my side and talk to me like it’s an intercom.  I trust her not to be doing this all the time, but damn!  On the good side when she does that the Dot makes a sound and shows a green color so I know what’s going on.  And she does at least text me to tell me she’s “dropping in”. 

Meanwhile, I’m still asking my Dot what the weather is like, and maybe listening to the news.  My niece has turned her Dot into an arm of the CIA.  I have no doubt she’ll be using it to take over the world soon! 

I’m honestly thrilled that she likes my gift, but it’s hard to watch a movie when the lights keep changing from red, to green, to blue.  Hopefully she’ll be busy with classwork and won’t have too much time for this. 

So why don’t you give young girls digital controls?  Because they’ll keep changing your light colors and start to control everything!  Until next week, keep asking why.