Week 35: Why I'll be laboring for Labor Day

It’s Labor Day weekend this week.  I’m not sure if this is some kind of international holiday, or if it’s uniquely American, but it supposedly signals the end of summer.  And thank God for that because I’m so sick and tired of the heat!  It’s still probably going to be over 100 degrees F for the rest of September (That’s 37.7 Celsius for you people who use that measurement), but at least winter is finally on the way.

So how will I be celebrating Labor Day weekend this week?  I’ll be laboring at work.  No fabulous barbeque with the American flag waving overhead, no trips to the park for fireworks, no hotdogs and sunsets for me.  I’ll be dispatching security in a casino!  Hooray!  Though not my first choice to celebrate the holiday, it does mean that I’m still employed full time and I’m at least grateful for that.

Labor Day weekend, Memorial Day weekend, and New Year’s Eve are the three holidays I’m usually required to add a sixth day to my work week.  Why is that do you suppose?  Because of the amount of stupid people who feel they have to come to Las Vegas during these holidays. 

I think for the most part I’ll probably be answering phones, or maybe relieving a dispatcher for an hour while they go to lunch.  I’ll take calls from people saying they’re angry for being thrown out of one of the dance clubs just because they tried to steal another person’s cell phone.  Or maybe someone will want the paramedics because they drank too much, or they ate a marijuana brownie and now don’t feel so good.  These are the type of phone calls that will make up my weekend.

Me: Security, how can I help you?

Male voice: Some girl just stole my money from my room!

Me: Did you invite this woman up to your room, sir?

Male voice:  Yes, but she’s not a hooker!

Not a hooker, maybe just a thief?  Sometimes we’ll even catch these thieving women.  But then when you ask the guy, “Would you like to press charges?” they tell you no.  Maybe their wife won’t be happy they brought a “woman” back to their room?  Maybe their boss won’t be happy?  Doesn’t matter to me, I don’t have much sympathy for these idiots.

Me: Security, how can I help you?

Screaming voice:  AAAAAAgh!  Gag, bloog, choo say, noooooo! *click*

Me:  Hello?

Ah, one of these calls!  Fantastic!  To me that means a possible fight inside one of the hotel rooms.  Or actually sometimes these calls come from a restaurant, or store, too!  We send officers over to see what’s going on.  Someone might have looked at someone’s girlfriend!  Or maybe a guy was pushed and didn’t like it!  I worry about it when an officer actually gets there and tells me what’s going on.

Me:  Security, how can I help you?

Female voice: This is the little shop near registration.  Can you send a guard because I think a guy might steal something.

Me: You have someone who is stealing items?

Female voice: Well, he hasn’t stolen anything yet, but I think he might.

Me: How do you know he’s going to steal something?

Female voice: Because he looks like it.

These calls are always fun.  Some guy “looks like” he’s going to steal something.  What does that look like?  I need to rush a bunch of officers over there because this suspicious guy might walk off with some $7.99 suntan lotion!  Oh no!  As a call taker I’ll pass this on to the dispatcher even though I think it’s stupid.  And if there’s an available officer, someone might even be sent to the shop.  Then the clerk usually wants the officer to follow the guy around and stare at him while he shops.  That would be a no, especially on a busy holiday weekend.

I’m sure you can imagine a whole carnival of other things I’ll be asked to deal with.  I think before work I’ll go and play a bit of Madden 18 football.  I did send the bad copy back to Amazon and they mailed me a replacement that does actually finally work.  Best to get myself in a pleasant frame of mind before work.

As one act of rebellion I bought myself a bag of peanuts in the shell to take to work tonight.  I’ll probably have peanut shells all over the place as they can sometimes be messy.  I thought that would at least help me celebrate a bit of Labor Day weekend.  And of course I’ll be happy to share with other dispatchers!  We can all make a mess!

So why am I laboring on Labor Day?  Because that’s just how it is.  Until I get two days off again, keep asking why.

Oh, and by the way, if you thought these short casino thoughts were funny, feel free to take a look at an older book of mine called Vegas Ramblings.  It’s a collection of blogs from quite a while back when I worked in a different casino.  A very amusing, unread book!

Vegas Ramblings on Amazon.com