Week 8: Why is this a thing?

What the hell is going in with the world now?  There are some things that I’m seeing that I don’t even understand.  Things that I just look at and wonder to myself why it’s a thing.  Why is it even here?  Take for example the Magic Mountains.  No, I’m not talking about the fantastic theme park in California, I’m talking about this:

What the hell is this?  Who the hell does this kind of thing?  This is about 45 miles outside of Las Vegas I think.  I thought about driving out to see it in person this week, but then began wondering why the hell I would make a 90 mile round trip to the middle of nowhere just to see some painted rocks.  Someone apparently had too much time on their hands.

I had no idea this was even here until I saw it on YouTube.  A guy named Justin Scarred drove out there and did a video with the painted rocks.  He’s into bizarre things like that.  Please, feel free to watch his trip:

Justin Scarred

This was not my only surprise this week.  I love video games and I came across a video game where you play as a 911 emergency dispatcher.  Now while I don’t dispatch for 911, I do dispatch for a casino/hotel for a living.  While the job does have amusing moments, I never thought it would become a video game!

Is this something I would possibly want?  Dispatch all night and then come home to dispatch some more in a video game?  Why the hell is this a thing?  If you watch a video of the game, you receive phone calls from people calling for help.  Ok, send the police.  Now another emergency, send more police.  Ok, now you’re out of police units and you get a call for another fight.  Now what?  Bleagh!  I get enough of this shit at work!

This isn’t even the beginning.  You can buy a video game where you play as a bus driver.  Join the excitement as you drive a bus around town and pick up and drop off people!

There is a game called Papers Please where you work in a border booth checking passports.  You can be a video truck driver! How about driving trains?  Yes, all those things are video games!  We’ve now come to the point where we’re not only spray painting rocks florescent colors out in the middle of the desert, we’re also making video games for mundane jobs in the world!  What the hell’s next, a janitor video game?

This one is called Viscera Cleanup Detail.  You play as a janitor cleaning up after some horror movie thing.  Let’s simulate picking up body pieces and mopping up blood!  What a fantastic game idea!  I have no words for this.  All I can do is ask why.  Why? Why? Why?

Until next week, keep asking why with me.  Question everything.

Week 7: Why are my taxes such an annoyance?

Lovely, it’s tax time here in the US.  Everyone should be receiving their W-2 tax forms and it’s time to file for a refund.  Or if you’re really unlucky, it’s time to pay.  I had to pay one year after I had actually had a fairly decent year for book sales.  That would be because no one seems to take any taxes out of book royalties and so you have to tell the government how much you made at the end of the year and then pay tax on the amount you made.  Fantastic.

Now years ago what I had to do was to go down to the library or somewhere else that had them, and get whatever tax form I needed.  Then I would fill my form out by hand and mail it in to the IRS.  That’s the Internal Revenue Service for anyone who didn’t know.  I don’t mind the IRS as they’ve actually helped me once.

Years ago I was fired from a job after working there for a couple years.  It was a bad place and getting fired was probably one of the better things that could have happened to me.  Anyway, when it came time to file my taxes that year the company didn’t bother to send me a W-2 form for me to file with.  I called the company and they told me they didn’t care if I received my form or not.  So I called the IRS and told them the company refused to mail me a W-2.  The nice IRS guy had me estimate how much I had made that year and then they sent me a W-2 with that estimate on it that I could file with.  Someone also obviously went down to the company and had a little chat with them because within a few days I did then receive the actual W-2 from the company.  So I was quite happy to be helped out.

That was back when I was still getting the form and doing things by hand before mailing it in to the IRS.  Things are different now.  We now live in the age of electronics!  I can just file my taxes online!  That makes everything quick and easy, right?  Right?  WRONGO!

All of a sudden my email is full of these tax companies wanting me to do my taxes with their program online.  Of course they charge to use the program.  The forms at the library were always free and I’m sure they still are, but I don’t want to do everything by hand.  That takes time and I have to do the math myself.  This is the age of electronics, so my computer should be doing this stuff for me!

I looked in to a few of the tax programs and they all want to charge you for every little thing now.  I don’t feel I should have to pay for every little thing, though!  I need help from the IRS!  So I go to IRS.com.  And there’s a program that will allow me to do my taxes for free!  Halleluiah! I get to work on that.  All I need to do is plug in the numbers from the forms I have and it will figure everything out for me.  Very cool!  I don’t need to worry about paying the IRS this year as I was only paid a total of $69 in royalties this year.  Yes, very sad, but I’m not disappointed.  That’s still $69 more than I would have made if I hadn’t bothered writing the books.  And these are old books that have been out for a while, too. 

So I get my taxes all figured out and the IRS owes me a fair amount!  Very good, I get a tax return!  Hooray!  Now I’m faced with two options, I can file online, or I can print the forms the program has filled out for me and mail them in.  I don’t want to mail anything.  Why use a stamp when I can just file electronically?  I’ll tell you why, because it costs $45 to file electronically!  What the hell?  It was supposed to be the free IRS software!  After pouting about this for a bit, I finally figure who cares about $45, just file electronically and then I’ll be sure my taxes don’t get lost in the mail somewhere.  And then there is another problem.

Now before it will let me file electronically I have to find some number.  The software sends me to this web site, but I still can’t figure out what number I’m looking for!  What the hell?  I have to log in, but can’t log in!  Now I need a password!  Now I need the 84 digit code that has 28 capitals and three random phrases from some movie I’ve never seen!  What the hell is all this?  I just want to file my taxes!

It took me a little bit of time and was quite a pain in the behind, but I finally figured out what number I needed.  After paying my $45 up front, I was then allowed to file electronically.  What a pain in the ass!  Why is something that’s supposed to be so simple so complicated now?

I still haven’t received my tax return yet.  I’m sure it’s “in the mail”.  I opted for direct deposit instead of just having them send me a check that I’m sure would have been needlessly complicated to cash anywhere now.

I’m not sure why this was such a pain especially when it should have been easier than just doing everything by hand.  I’m probably just bitter about the $45 electronic filing fee.  That seems like an awful lot just to send a file!

At least I’m finished with taxes until next year.  I really feel for my friends in the UK who I’ve heard are taxed way more than I am!  Ok, I’m done asking why for this week.  But please, everyone keep on asking why!

Week 6: Why did I miss winter?

I’m one of those people who likes cold much more than heat.  Sadly, I ended up living in the desert.  Needless to say, I’m happiest every year during winter time and not as happy during summer.  I waited all year for winter to finally get here and things just haven’t been to my liking this year!

In a way, I feel a bit odd writing this blog today when so many of my friends are digging themselves out from under a huge amount of snow.  I didn’t get any snow this year, though.  As a matter of fact, my heat barely ever even came on this winter!  Now yes this does sound like I’m whining about something that I shouldn’t be whining about, but I feel cheated out of my winter!

The last several days here it’s been around 70 degrees.  For you Europeans who like Celsius, that’s about 21 degrees Celsius.  I understand that I live in the desert, but it’s still supposed to get at least a little cold here during the winter!  Now it just seems to be getting warmer and warmer each day!  Where’s my damned winter?

Now I’m going to spend most of the rest of the year waiting for winter again!  Before I know it, it’s going to be 118 degrees again! (That would be 47 Celsius.)  I’ll be back to driving around thinking I’m driving an oven!  I hate summer, bleagh! 

Ok, I know this was short, pointless, and whiny, but that’s my why for this week.  Why do I not get the cold while other people who would be happy to be out lying in their yard in 70 degrees are wondering where their yard went under all the snow?

We’ll see what I question next week.  Keep asking why!

Week 5: Why do movies suck now?

Why do movies seem so bad now?  I decided to go and see a movie last night and it wasn’t the most pleasant experience.  Let’s start with my trying to buy a ticket.

Now you can buy movie tickets online before you even get to the theater.  I didn’t bother with that because I found a pre-purchased ticket that I had forgotten having.  That should get me in to see the movie, so I should be all set.  I just need to stop off at the box office and present that, right?  Nope.

I get to the theater and when I show my pre-purchased ticket the guy still charges me $1.50.  I’ve already paid for my ticket, but now I have to pay more?  What the hell kind of scam is this?  I’m already upset now!  I went to the theater to see the movie Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.  It’s been out for quite a while and I had been waiting for the crowds to die down before I went to see it.  No crowds for this film!

After paying my $1.50 scam money I was asked to pick out my seat.  The clerk shows me a screen and tells me I can’t sit in the best row in the theater because that’s reserved for handicapped people.  It’s ten minutes before show time and no handicapped people have picked out seats in the row, but I’m still not allowed to sit there because I guess a huge amount of handicapped people may still show up.  And so I end up picking a seat in the very back row.

I get into the theater and see there’s maybe ten other people there to see the show with me, none of them handicapped, so none of us can sit in the good row.  Finally the show is ready to start.  Does the movie begin when it’s supposed to?  Nope!  I have to sit through fifteen minutes of previews for movies that I really don’t want to see!  Why do movies seem to be so bad to me now a days?  What happened to the good writing?  Back when movies were still black and white they were good because the story had to be good or you wouldn’t want to see it.  Now it just seems like movies are nothing but two hour long special effects shows.

The movie does finally start and most of the way through it I still have no idea what most of the main character’s names are.  The characters are so overshadowed by special effects and explosions and robots and things that I never really get to know them very well. 

Here’s…What’s his name fighting a bunch of guys!  This robot, or droid, or whatever shows up and makes a smart ass remark!  Then a midget fires a machine gun!  Boom, boom, boom!  There’s kind of a story there, but…damn.

I can see why so many remakes of movies are being made now a days.  Ghostbusters was a great movie, I would even say a classic!  Remaking a classic is a mistake though, if you ask me.  Come up with something original.  King Kong was made three times that I can think of.  STOP DOING THAT!  Please leave King Kong alone!

What are kids today growing up with?  I fondly remember The Wrath of Khan, and Ghostbusters, and the original Star Wars movies.  What do kids today have, superhero movies jammed with CGI and special effects?  I need to find me a decent movie with no special effects to restore my faith that Hollywood can still make something decent.

Until I can find my good, current movie, keep asking questions!