Week 1: Why Food?

For 2017 I wanted to start writing a blog again.  It’s a good writing exercise, but what to write about?  Why not write about “Why”?  Questions that come up in my head.  My thoughts bang all over from place to place and can be pretty chaotic, so “Why” seems like a good topic to my.  For week 1, Why Food?

So this morning I was frying myself some bacon and eggs.  And I’m standing there wondering to myself if I’m making what’s called an “English Breakfast”.  I don’t think it was because an English Breakfast has more than just bacon and eggs, doesn’t it?

This picture has tomatoes and…black stuff and…why are the tomatoes still on the vine?  Who serves food like this?  Is this a photo from some fancy restaurant?  I don’t think any of my English friends serve breakfast like this.  Can you imagine serving this to a two year old?  Your tomatoes and vine will end up on the floor!  I’m sure there are a ton of ways to serve English Breakfast, though.  So is my breakfast an American Breakfast?  I don’t even know.

In the United Kingdom there are a number of restaurants that are popular because they’re “American”.  I don’t even know what “American” food is!  What do we eat that the people in England don’t eat?  Are they serving instant Ramen and Doritos?  Those are American.  Well, at least the Doritos are.  Or are they a world wide snack?  We call them “Chips”, but to the people in the UK they would be “Crisps”.  Just like in an American restaurant in America some kid asks you “Would you like fries with that?”  In the UK you get “Chips” with that.  Not the Doritos Chips, or potato chips, but French Fries.  And I don’t even think French Fries are French!  What the hell?

Upon trying to look up some “American” restaurants in the United Kingdom I came across a chain of places called BTP or “Boston Tea Party”.  Do they brew you up some nice tea and then throw that and your food in the bay?  Probably a bad joke, but a restaurant based on Americans protesting tax, really?  How…odd to me.

BTP Menu

Above is the link to a BTP (Boston Tea Party) menu.  As you can see they serve “West County Breakfast” which looks suspiciously like an English Breakfast, Mushrooms on Sourdough toast…ok, let me stop right here for a second…

Who in America eats mushrooms on toast?  I’m sure it’s fantastic, but I don’t know anyone anywhere near where I live who does that.  Why is this supposedly “American”?

Goats Cheese and Beetroot Salad.  I don’t even know what a “beetroot” is.  One of the few things that actually looks “American” on this menu is the Club Sandwich.  Is that even really “American?  Everyone probably makes a Club Sandwich different anyway.

Enough bitching about the food at restaurants I’ll probably never even get a chance to visit.  And if I did, would I be ordering and then saying “Oh, fantastic food, just like home”?  Probably not.  On the other hand, here is an "American” restaurant in my neck of the woods:

          There is a place in Las Vegas called “The Heart Attack Grill”.  They serve free food to anyone who weighs over 350 pounds.  Take a look at this lovely website and video:

The Heart Attack Grill

The video says the “nurses” will “spank” you if you don’t finish your order.  That’s…um…I don’t even know how to reply to that.  I’ve actually went there once and ordered some food to go.  I refused to put on a hospital gown to go inside and waited for my food just inside the entrance.  I did make a video of my brother putting on a gown and going in there, but I have no idea where that is at the moment.  I can honestly say I’d rather eat at BTP (Boston Tea Party) and worry about my food being tossed off a ship instead of worrying about some grown woman spanking me if I leave a pickle on my plate!

Spankings and heart attack food.  Nice, now what was I even writing about in the first place?  Oh yes, cooking my bacon and eggs.  So again I’m not sure if it was an “American” breakfast or not, but it was delicious!  Sometimes the best meals you have are the ones you prepare yourself.  I’m not sure why, I’ll have to think about that.

Until week 2, question everything.